Long Suffering Wife

Friday, October 28, 2005

Cake!

This was told to me by someone last night as an illustation of "willpower" and faith.

I think in truth it sums up most of the women I know when it comes to cake, chocolate, shoes etc! better than anything I've ever read before....

Toad baked some cookies. “These cookies smell very good,” said Toad. He ate one. “And they taste even better,” he said. Toad ran to Frog’s house. “Frog, Frog,” cried Toad, “taste these cookies that I have made.”
Frog ate one of the cookies, “These are the best cookies I have ever eaten!” said Frog.
Frog and Toad ate many cookies, one after another. “You know, Toad,” said Frog, with his mouth full, “I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick.”
“You are right,” said Toad. “Let us eat one last cookie, and then we will stop.” Frog and Toad ate one last cookie. There were many cookies left in the bowl.
Frog,” said Toad, “let us eat one very last cookie, and then we will stop.” Frog and Toad ate one very last cookie. “We must stop eating!” cried Toad as he ate another.
“Yes,” said Frog, reaching for a cookie, “we need willpower.”
“What is willpower?” asked Toad.
“Willpower is trying hard not to do something you really want to do,” said Frog.
“You mean like trying hard not to eat all these cookies?” asked Toad.
“Right,” said Frog.
Frog put the cookies in a box. “There,” he said. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog.
Frog tied some string around the box. “There,” he said. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can cut the string and open the box.” said Toad.
That is true,” said Frog.
Frog got a ladder. He put the box up on a high shelf. “There,” said Frog. “Now we will not eat any more cookies.”
“But we can climb the ladder and take the box down from the shelf and cut the string and open the box,” said Toad.
“That is true,” said Frog.
Frog climbed the ladder and took the box down from the shelf. He cut the string and opened the box.
Frog took the box outside. He shouted in a loud voice.
“Hey, birds, here are cookies!” Birds came from everywhere. They picked up all the cookies in their beaks and flew away.
“Now we have no more cookies to eat,” said Toad sadly.
“Not even one.”
“Yes,” said Frog, “but we have lots and lots of willpower.”
“Naff this” said Toad. “You can keep all your willpower Frog, I'm going home now to bake a cake!”

Monday, October 24, 2005

Nine out of ten cats

Following the awful news from home that one of my friends has advanced stage breast cancer I have struggled to put into words how I feel about it.

According to the breast cancer awareness website one in nine women will have breast cancer at sometime in their lives. Following a quick tally of female friends that means that over 10 of us, according to the statistics, will be fighting the silent killer at some point in our lives.

It's left me flat and I've got to the point where crying in work about the injustice of it all is a possibility.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Joke du Jour

"There are 10 types of people who understand binary,

those who do and those who don't"

OK so it made the techicie in me laugh when I was told it!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Hear No Evil

Every day I travel to work on public transport and have done for years. The best thing about it is being able to read a selection of newspapers without buying one and overhearing people's conversations.

In the last weeks I have been privilage to such lovlies as
"She's such a pushy mother I'd never do that to Amy....... I think Amy should continue to dance so I'm going to make sure that she's in the Panto even if she doesn't want to be"

"It's a shame these Fathers for Justice feel the need to dress up like tw*ts all they do it attract attention to themselves"

"I've found a lump in my sack and I'm too embarrased to tell the doctor about it" - Why love you've just told 30 strangers.

So next time your on the bus watch out, you never knopw who's listening

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Orange Liquid

The wife and I went to Brum this weekend to celebrate the forthcoming doctorate of a friend from university. That is eight years from the moment that he started at university with us to finally being forced to look for paid employment.

So celebrating we a went into Brum and to the pub which specialises in cider and real ale. And so started the night of the orange pint. It felt fine to start with, but

Mistake number one - when asking for a half and being refuse, on account of being a girl, accept this rejection rather than stating "OK make it a pint then!"

Mistake number two - staying at the pub in a lock in until 2pm, having been drinking since lunch time.

Now I'm in the lucky minority who don't usually get hangovers and as such can't really deal with them on the minimal number of occasions with which they occur.

As such I spent Sunday in bed asleep and throwing up on trains and hoping the world would just f@*k off and let me die.

And that brings me onto the other issue - why are there always delays on the train lines when you want to be home yesterday?